One of the most important virtues to improve the quality of emotional life is patience. The ability to learn to wait is essential because, beyond the yearnings of the will, the rhythm of reality is not always in step with the purposes of mind and heart. This waiting that we have to face in many moments of our life is healthy to learn to tolerate frustration. It is convenient to look back to the past to see some personal goal achieved after effort and difficulties.
When we become aware of the whole process, once finished, we realize that it is important not to throw in the towel prematurely because it is healthy to persevere in the conquest of personal purposes.
It is also a sign of emotional intelligence to learn to differentiate between what is worth waiting for and what is not so important. How do you know the difference between these two aspects? It is worth waiting for things that bring good to your life because it allows you to grow as a person or develop in the professional field.
However, it is not worth waiting for something that becomes a burden of emotional health. People are very contradictory, and we don’t always wait when we really have to. This is the case, for example, when a person in love with someone who doesn’t belong to him or her continues to hope that this situation will change.
It’s not worth waiting for when that wait turns into damage to one’s self-esteem. In this context, there are expectations that are not bad in themselves but become harmful by prolonging time more than necessary.
Keep reading this article to find out when it’s worth being patient and when it’s not, as well as how to be more patient.
How to be more patient
Sometimes patience is conspicuous by its absence in interpersonal relationships, and we may become desperate. Maybe there is someone who makes you lose patience for his behavior, or even just the presence of that person already bothers you. Sometimes it can be a weak point, but it is very important to have it to promote good relations with others. That’s why increasing patience and being more patient is key. Although it is not your best quality, you can learn to be.
Everyone in our society is always in constant evolution, and in one way or another, try to improve every day, and that is always a cause for praise. Sometimes we find it hard to be patient with a particular person, but don’t confuse patience with indifference.
When you have “deaf ears” to a person, you will only show that you don’t care about anything at all besides showing a serious lack of education. Patience means listening to that person and showing empathy by understanding their feelings.
Handling anger is essential for patience. For example, imagine that a friend arrived late at the cinema and you had to enter the room after the film started. If, when your friend arrives, you are angry and you start reproaching him with a hostile attitude, you won’t be able to have a conversation, and he won’t be able to explain what happened to him. He may have had a setback that caused him to be late.
Don’t just focus on the problem, because then you will let the anger take hold of you. To avoid it, look for solutions. Don’t let pride take over the situation. It is not worth proving at all costs to the other person that you have the absolute truth, and he is wrong.
Before you answer someone in anger, take a deep breath and count to ten, take a walk to get some air, or write on a piece of paper what you would like to say to the other person.
Patience and understanding will guide your actions, and you will see how much easier it is for the other person to understand you, too, and, without realizing it, you will go from creating a toxic environment to creating friendships.
There are times when we get impatient and have a great risk of boycotting our potential success as a result of impatience: that is when we desire to have our wish automatically come true. We may be on the right track to meeting our goals, but when we get carried away by fears, then we risk wasting all the effort.
There are times when reality does not tell you that something is impossible, but it tells you that you will have to wait to achieve it. Patience is an excellent virtue even though, at a certain moment, it produces uncomfortable emotions. What to do when success depends on patience?
First of all, to train your patience, you have to focus your attention on more than one goal in order to have different motivational focuses on your routine. It is important not to put all your expectations in one place in order to have different levels of motivation thanks to good compensation in the emotional balance.
In addition, it is not only advisable to have long-term goals but also more short-term expectations that offer the most realistic possibility of practicing carpe diem.
How to train your patience
Knowing how to wait for what you love
Waiting also tests how committed you are to a particular goal. Waiting strengthens your willpower, your ability to overcome and gives you the possibility to optimize your resources, even looking for a plan B. In order not to throw in the towel when faced with obstacles, it is convenient to be realistic with yourself to analyze if all the resources have been exhausted or it is possible to do something more to fight for that desired goal.
To have patience, it is advisable to bet on a constructive inner dialogue with the aim of raising the level of motivation.
We live in a society that seems to have forgotten patience, in which everything is given to us as soon as we want it. It makes us forget that to achieve many other things, surely the most important, is that it is necessary to have patience.
It is often confused with passivity, but that has nothing to do with it. Passivity is not doing anything, while patience consists of knowing how to wait while what we want arrives, accepting that things do not always depend on ourselves, and also allows us to enjoy the present moment, fully appreciating what we have here and now.
Patience, moreover, will allow us to analyze problems in detail, finding the perfect solution for them. When we act impulsively, without time to analyze situations correctly, we leave temporary or superficial solutions that make the problem reproduce again and again.
Impatience, on the other hand, makes us feel continually frustrated for not having what we want immediately, the frustration that leads us to be irritable, in a bad mood, and generates a high level of stress that can turn into other ailments.
To increase our patience, we can start by making a list of everything that impresses us, whatever it may be. Then, order them beginning with the ones that are most important to you, and analyze which ones really depend on you and which ones depend on others. Once this is done, get to work with those that depend exclusively on you, without worrying about what others do.
You can also do simple exercises, such as arriving a few minutes before an appointment and waiting quietly, waiting before discovering or figuring something out, not leaving a task until you’ve finished, etc. These small changes will produce significant results, and you will see that, in the long run, life is savored much more when you are patient.
Tips for controlling patience
Sometimes we lose patience. Some people do it more easily than others, and impatience is their way of being. But the truth is that we all have enough power in the mind to do what we want. It is a matter of self-control. Keep these tips in mind, and don’t let impatience stand in the way of enjoying how incredible life is. The first thing you should do is analyze what makes you lose patience. Perform a realistic inner analysis to determine what things or situations generate this feeling. If you succeed, you will have more tools to face it, and you will be able to act to avoid them, avoid them, or eliminate them.
Recognize that you cannot have control over everything around you. Sometimes, things happen without our being able to do anything. Accept things as they come and do not enter into constant complaints, anger, or eternal wailing over matters that have their own unique nature and will not change no matter how much you wish.
Encourage yourself to keep a critical eye on each situation and enjoy the moment. The day has to start as an opportunity to experience each pleasant moment. Choose occasions that you want to live fully: enjoying your favorite food, listening to the music you like, watching a movie, having a chat with friends, or taking a walk on the beach.
Benefit from your impatience, as it doesn’t have to be just negative. Restlessness can begin to take action to change things. Creativity is closely linked to impatience, so let your imagination fly whenever you become impatient for something you could change.
Giving time to time
It might seem like the simplest thing in the world, but nothing could be further from the truth. Giving time to time when you are in the middle of an important decision or having great feelings of impatience and anxiety is the most difficult thing. For this reason, it is sometimes convenient to cultivate patience, serenity, and the art of waiting. That is what giving time to time implies: learning to wait, and learning to let things flow and take their course, not the course your will dictates.
Things simply happen when they have to happen. But sometimes, in the face of impatience, freshness and naturalness are lost because things are forced. This is clearly seen in love. For example, there are people who have such a degree of need or even desperation to find a partner that that same anxiety drives away love itself.
It is worth learning to think before speaking, to meditate on things and count to one hundred, and to forget about an issue and move on with your life because the time will come when it is resolved. Deal with those issues that really depend on your will, then live wisely and do not lose energy in an impossible.
Time is part of life. In fact, it is easy to feel the presence of the calendar and the passing of months and days. Do not worry about the problems of yesterday or tomorrow; live today. That is your challenge: to learn to live a little better each day, with more calm and common sense. In the society of haste, there is nothing like learning to walk slowly to think well about where you want to go, and even where you want to rest and observe the beauty of an infinite landscape. Forget the clock to feel your inner truth.
Look for alternative plans
In life, it is important always to have an alternative plan for when that first laid-out road fails. People who have real patience are those who do not give up on the first obstacle and continue to persevere despite everything. That is great wisdom of life itself: those who know that in life, the good, on more than one occasion, are made to wait because each thing has its own time.
Cultivate inner love
Patience is linked to love: the more you want something, the more options you have to be able to achieve it. But, there is a big difference between wanting something in a whimsical way, and really wanting it one hundred percent. The desire is easily extinguished; instead, when a desire is backed by love; then, the patience is greater because it is accompanied by the hope of being able to achieve that object.